There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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