Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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