my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize