And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
