Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
