I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
