yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
