and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
