I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i now understand why vodka
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
