the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
