I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Someone signed my nipple.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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