i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I queefed so loud it echoed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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