I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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