let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
