my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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