Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Damn victory sex feels great
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