were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
