alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
