So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
