6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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