4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
