One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
