Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
