God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
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