We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize