"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
