as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
