You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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