Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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