I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
