Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize