I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
