we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
