If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize