Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
