we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize