It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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