I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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