Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
