You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Bring me that man meat
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
