rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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