Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
