No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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