at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
