My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
wanna go halves on a baby?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
