I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we should paint friendship bongs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
