I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
