I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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