well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
