Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i think im in europe. pls send help
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
