Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize