in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
