Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
