First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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