Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
