Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
